>just got off the internet
>sneaking to bed
>hellhound wife flicks the light on
>"Tactical what the hell are you doing up this late"
>guilty look, I'm holding a bag of cheetos
>stammer something out about playing warcraft 2 with a friend
>"Tactical it's not 2008, you can't keep living like this"
>She grabs my ear and drags me to bed
>"Besides, cheetos are unhealthy for you"
>tries to take cheetos away but I fight back
>successfully escape her grasp
>there is now an angry hellhound wife and my half-eaten cheetos bag
>I must make a choice
>deeply reflect upon the spirit of Hitler, and what he would do
>the answer is clear
>I take the bag and jump from the 3rd floor of the house
>end up in hospital
>angry hellhound wife
>still have my cheeto bag though