@YoMomz Try this: talk to God like he's really there, really an entity listening to you. Dig deep and do it in earnest. Just tell him about your day or something and how you're trying to be better and some of the shit that's in your way that pisses you off about yourself or the world.
Call it an experiment, but it's only real if you really mean it and believe it.
And then wait. ☺