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I'm giving myself an alliterated nickname, it's going to be my secret identity of who I really am. It resonates with my psychology, more so than my actual legal name that was given to me at birth.

Not kuteboi coder, but snarky in that style. Also significantly more masculine, albeit in the tragic antihero sense.

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Don't plan on sharing what my new nickname is or what my new years resolutions are, but here's my motivational self talk. I'm going to ask myself "what would a #mentallyill foid do?" and then to the opposite.

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Would a mentally ill foid shortchange the boss and be incompetent and fall behind on assignments? Fuck her. I'll do the opposite.

Would a mentally ill foid refuse to cook and clean for herself? Fuck her. I'll do the opposite.

Would a mentally ill foid procrastinate on budgeting and tracking expenses because "I'm poor" and "it's too depressing"? Fuck her. I'll do the opposite.

Would a mentally ill foid fail to prepare healthy, nutritious, affordable meals, eat out impulsively and binge on junk food? Fuck her. I'll do the opposite.

Would a mentally ill foid fail to accumulate savings at the end of each pay period because "I have nothing to save" and "it wouldn't make a difference anyway?" Fuck her, I'll do the opposite.

Would a mentally ill foid refuse to exercise because "men are objectifying my body" and they "don't deserve my labor"? Fuck her, I'll do the opposite.

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From personal experience, I have no real reason to believe in God, but I do believe in a reason for everything. I believe in purpose and karma, if only as a coping mechanism.

I have no real positive, nurturing influences in my life, but I have been afflicted with bullies and abusers, losers, and poor people. My relatives. Former bosses, and their delinquent accounts. My roommates.

If I have no positive role models that I knew personally and who will show the patience and take the time to coax and guide me, personally, then whom do I have for guidance?

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Everything happens for a reason, and everybody exists for a reason.

The various no-gooders who have been a pest and a nuisance throughout my life, I choose to accept them as an object lesson; a cautionary tale, so that I don't end up like them.

The alternative, of course, is to believe that I had to put up with them and will always have to put up with them for no goddamn reason.

I can choose what to believe in, and in so doing, I choose my destiny. My life path.