Temperature just hit 100°. My whole body can feel the impending rapture. I feel like I just did back to back marathons, but without the sense of accomplishment. It was nice knowing you, anons.

12 hour update on death and dying: the dogs have come to the conclusion that there will be no walkabouts today. I should probably eat but that would require traversing the house all the way to the kitchen. I have hydration at the bedside. How long can one survive on cough drops and lacroix alone?

I am pushing 36 hours of succumbing to this flu of the man or birb variety. Fever broke so I may very well survive... or my body has given up. The cough sounds like a death rattle, so that's kinda cool. ​

I finally broke down and took some ibuprofen like two hours ago. Hasn't touched the headache yet. This is stupid.

Day 23 of the eternal death note. I'm not long for this world. My voice sounds like Bea Arthur and RFK jr had a love child. And i feel like i got deep throated and ear fucked by a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. I'm kinda sad that I have no worst enemies upon to wish this pox.

After three and a half days of subsistence that included two bowls of beef and mushroom soup, four frozen strawberries, 10 frozen blackberries, and an unknown number of throat lozenges of various brand and flavor, I ate a bowl of oatmeal today. Searing ribeye at the moment because I bought it Monday and I don't have the energy to freeze it. Meh. I love steak, so surely it will taste good.

Dear Adequate Death Watch,

The saga continues. I no longer feel like dog shit on the bottom of a shoe, just a regular shit. I am no longer a slug-a-bed. I've moved to the couch. I may attempt coffee again. I haven't decided. Please send moar cat pics for morale.

Yours truly,

The Birb

@adequate My kitty Figaro