Zeb 摆烂 @[email protected]

#minds

>be me
>join serious GTA RP server
>economy advertised as “player-driven”
>admins brag that inflation is carefully controlled
>starting wage is $140 per hour
>used sedan costs $83,000
>immersive.jpg
>discover vending machine refunds money twice if you cancel usage animation
>accidentally turn one dollar into three
>report it to admins
>ticket closed as “cannot reproduce”
>discover apartment storage occasionally duplicates stacked items
>discover casino chips can be duplicated by redeeming at cashier window while simultaneously betting them at nearby roulette table
>discover impound lot refunds fees for cars that do not exist
>discover business accounts can become negative
>my portfolio is diversifying
>could simply print infinite money and buy supercars
>too pedestrian
>realize I now control several independent liquidity facilities
>create new character
>Jerome “Jay” Powerman
>occupation: Chairman of the Los Santos Federal Reserve
>buy cheap gray suit
>use Burger Shot as improvised Federal Reserve office
>spray badly cropped portrait of Ben Bernanke on wall
>begin holding FOMC meetings with random homeless players
>“The committee has observed persistent weakness in the meth sector.”
>“We therefore judge that additional accommodation is warranted.”
>press button
>duplicate $400,000
>local gang asks me for a loan
>tell them the discount window is available only to systemically important criminal institutions
>they show me twenty rifles and a helicopter
>approve application
>begin injecting liquidity into economy
>new players receive $50,000 “stimulus checks”
>taxi company receives emergency bailout after owner loses everything at blackjack
>used-car dealership declared too big to fail
>fund entire police department through quantitative easing
>every cop suddenly has a personal armored truck
>admins notice money supply has increased 900% overnight
>announce emergency rate hike
>charge players 14% interest on all future loans
>does absolutely nothing because I am still creating money from vending machines
>economy enters strange golden age
>everyone owns a mansion
>nobody works
>burger restaurant employees demand $60,000 per shift
>one magazine of handgun ammo costs $8,500
>server e-girl charges $2 million for a private dance
>macroeconomic indicators remain mixed
>hold press conference outside city hall
>reporters ask whether my policies caused inflation
>“Inflation is transitory.”
>duplicate another million while answering
>admins summon me to support room
>three senior staff sitting behind desk
>server owner asks where all the money came from
>tell him the Federal Reserve does not comment on specific open-market operations
>he demands I explain the bugs
>give presentation titled
>MONETARY TOOLS FOR AN UNCERTAIN LOS SANTOS
>slide one: vending-machine liquidity facility
>slide two: apartment-backed securities
>slide three: casino-chip repo market
>slide four: impound-fee yield curve control
>admin interrupts
>“You exploited four separate duplication glitches.”
>correct him
>“I maintained a diversified balance sheet.”
>they accuse me of destroying the economy
>explain that unemployment is technically zero because nobody needs a job anymore
>admin says every legitimate business has collapsed
>“Necessary creative destruction.”
>owner starts deleting duplicated money
>immediately announce contractionary shock
>players riot outside city hall
>gangs block highways demanding restoration of liquidity
>police union threatens strike because their armored-truck stipends disappeared
>taxi company CEO goes on Discord and calls admins economic terrorists
>server owner tells me I am permanently banned
>remain calm
>adjust tie
>“The chairman serves at the pleasure of neither markets nor politicians.”
>ban message appears
>reason: HACKING / ECONOMY EXPLOITATION / REFUSAL TO BREAK CHARACTER
>check Discord five minutes later
>general chat in total meltdown
>prices still increasing because half the duplicated cash remains in circulation
>admins forced to wipe server economy
>announce it as “Season Two”
>months later receive DM from former gang leader
>new economy already suffering from liquidity crisis
>asks whether I know any more glitches
>tell him my term has ended
>but history may yet call upon me
>tfw banned for achieving the Fed’s dual mandate
>maximum employment
>maximum inflation

The Hippcratic Oath left the building long ago.
The AMA is not our friend .

@Zeb Head on a swivel and stay away from niggeRs
has to be relearned.

Same as it ever was.

inb4 'but muh dunghill was a jew lover from the start'

exactly.

TEACH YOUR Children well
and
they'll stay out of this hell.