Was walking out of Walmart with my milk jug in a bag, and either almost got robbed or got punched in the "knockout game." A teenager / early 20s kid jogged up behind me and I kept walking but turned my head and stared at him. He slowed down and turned around, adjusted his balaclava, which was over his face like a ninja mask, and his friend said something about "would have been funny."

Yes, your balls bleeding out on the parking lot as I call the police (not an ambulance) WOULD have been funny.