i have been an incel all my life, never bothered me, the infinite rejection did not bother either.

until the woman i have desired since i can remember, i wanted that woman for so long, she molded my sexuality, my fetishes, my likes, even the porn i wash, she it the root.

until she rejected me, it was as if, all the rejection came crashing down in one moment in time, to the point, i had a midlife crisis before even reaching 30, i felt like a failure and still do.

part 1.