Found out yesterday my white girlfriend who has been in the psychiatric hospital for the last 2 years due to Schizophrenia has been carrying out an illicit relationship with a black male staff member who works on her unit, they were caught in the act when a social worker attempted to enter her room to discuss discharge planning with her.
Dont even think there is going to be disciplinary action for the employee responsible for this.
Im gonna be working over a plan to end my life later tonight, i've really been liking the idea of dissociating HCN from
K(Fe (CN)6) with boiling hot HCL.
@PordanJeterson - I've been there, wanting to end life over a broad. And now I'm not.
Sometimes, there is simply no consolation, and platitudes ring hollow - I know. So why am I still here? Well, there were lots of things at various times. I had a lot of people in my corner - friends & family. There was a profound near-death experience as I was hanging... and now it's impossible for me to be an atheist. I don't believe in Jesus, but there's definitely a God, and death isn't the end. ➡️
@PordanJeterson - But even with all that... sometimes I'm just a stubborn bastard. And sometimes none of those things were enough to keep me here...
So why am I still here? One thought: When you're talking about something as permanent as death, what does it matter if you wait a day? 🤔 And it turns out, that tomorrow is always tomorrow. 💁🏻♂️
I have found over numerous such episodes, that the will to live never leaves a man. In suicide, that will to live must be overcome by despair. ➡️
@PordanJeterson - ...and if you wait enough days, the despair will pass.
People say suicide is selfish. But I say it's selfish to ask a miserable person to stay here. The solution then, is to find a way out of misery - for yourself, and no one else. Happiness is a choice - or the culmination of a series of choices.
And if medication is required over a prolonged & inconsolable depression (which is rare), then I highly recommend "Lion's Mane" (available OTC on Amazon). ➡️
@PordanJeterson - I started Lion's Mane as a sleep aid. I was in a state of grief and fixation that would allow me no rest. But I've heard the disclaimers on prescription sleep aids... so I wasn't gonna fuck with any of those. I don't need to go to jail for a psychotic episode because big pharma wanted to make a buck.
So I went with Lion's Mane. And restful sleep finally came. The effect was subtle. And I noticed an increase in mental/emotional agility & control. ➡️
@PordanJeterson - It allowed me to set my grief aside for a bit of time. And over time, those periods of emotional rest became longer.
So anyway Mr. Pordan, I hope you can find your peace. Cheating whores have ruined many a man. Don't let her win. Your death will mean nothing to her - it never does.
The high road is better, but if it's out of reach, then let this drive you: "The best revenge, is living well." - and that is so true. Your death, would be nothing more than an ego boost for her.🍻