What Is Fairplay?
Fairplay is marketed as a domestic management system to help overwhelmed wives and mothers find time to themselves. The message of fairplay is that a wife and mothers time is just as valuable as anybody else's and that she deserves a break, some rest and leisure just like everybody else - you can understand how an overwhelmed mother with a lot of small children and a lot on her plate would appreciate this.

The secondary message of fairplay is that women deserve love and thought put into them without having to beg their male partners for love - another message that isn't inherently wrong, that would mean a lot to a woman doing a hard job that can be often thankless like stay at home parenting.

But harmful movements often start with identifying real problems and delivering nice sounding messages. Commies are right about workers mistreatment for example, but we all know the solutions it offers harms more than helps. Gay rights movements wrap themselves in a "love is love" coating that sounds lovely until you see what it really is. And we will find the same here
Fairplay has quite a lot to it in terms of marketing and recruitment. There is an official fairplay book, there's even a fairplay couples card game, and there's also a career field called "fairplay facilitators", these are people who are tasked to preach about fair play to women on social media and offer up fair play in marriage counselling and couples therapies.

The way it works is simple. It accounts for women's mental load in household management and the fact that they are always thinking of things the home needs, things that need to be cleaned and when, and constantly thinking about their children and families (birthdays, appointments, anniversaries, extra curricular activities, clothing sizes etc) the little things like that. It also accounts for the physical labour (actual execution of these domestic tasks). It breaks planning and execution down to I think about 100 tasks and it showcases the invisible work and all the thought and energy that is involved in running a house and making a house a home. Which is why it resonates so deeply with women, especially homemakers.

That alone is a good thing. But then it begins the process of stirring dissatisfaction in women "see the giant list of things you have to do all by yourself everyday, no wonder you are overwhelmed" "you need more support". Okay, fair enough. But then where fairplay begins working in detriment to marriage is it begins to start shitting on the husband for not being that support, for not doing enough to take this load off of his wife. It begins to promote resentment under the guise that as a program it intends too "innocently show men how they can help their stressed out wives"

Sometimes, like in video related, the facilitators will actively seek out depressed homemakers that aren't being helped much and pounce. "you need to advocate for your needs more". Harmless enough right? But how exactly do they intend for you to do this?
How fairplay portrays men

There are many terms from the fairplay movement that you might have unknowingly heard before. It coined the term "weaponised incompetence" for example. That recent tiktok trend where women put on a ring or a wedding dress and it flashes to all the added housework they will have to tackle on their own and so the woman decides against marriage, that was started by this movement. Fairplay essentially portrays men as the following things:
-intentionally malicious towards their wives
-lazy and selfish
-deadbeat fathers
-unloving and uncaring people who use the women around them

The facilitators reinforce this narrative by regularly compiling videos of dads not taking care of their children adequately, choosing video gaming over their family, putting their babies in danger etc to fuel women's rage and negative mindsets
It also repeatedly drills into women that their husbands don't really love them.
If your husband gets burnt out doing cheesy family photos, if he doesn't put the effort into enjoy things you enjoy, he must not really love you
Your husband forgot you on the holidays. He doesn't care about you, if he wanted to he would etc
While these things go a long way in making women feel unappreciated or like their husbands aren't trying for them, is that always the case?
The overall message goes like this:
>Women have an extreme mental load from managing the household and all that goes into it and are burnt out and suffering as a result, and constantly have to be the ones to consider every thing for the familg
>Men don't take initiative to see what needs to be done and help, instead they force women to micromanage everything and make all the family decisions, even when they offer to help with care tasks they still ask the woman for every direction thus keeping the mental load on her
>women have been made to direct their partners because of this lack of initiative
>men feel they are being nagged by this

They call this theory the "nag paradox"
And the conclusion of this theory is:
>Men don't love and care about their families because they don't observe what needs to be done
It instructs women to address this problem in three steps
1.) communication: express your needs and how you need your husband to help relax the mental load of day to day life

Sounds nice enough right? Well here are the other two steps
2.) "match their energy" if communication doesn't work fairplay tells women "quiet quit" your marriage and be as unpleasant and passive aggressive as possible
3.) straight up divorce. Being a single mother is clearly preferable since having a husband adds a significant amount to the work load right?

This is the reality of this horrendous divorce-pushing movement
-assume malice and intent whenever your husband let's you down
- respond harshly
- break up your family because being a homemaker is hard and lonely because clearly your husband doesn't support you enough
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@TheVeryLutheranHousewife >They can't hear it when you are asking for it explicitly.

I have some doubt on my end that they are truly being explicit, as so many women communicate far less straightforwardly than men do. Her "explicit" is likely, "There are just so many dishes that keep piling up!" Rather than, "Could you please take care of the dishes now?"

Men respond far better to straightforward communication than hinting. I would want to observe the conservations to confirm my theory.

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