I saw the most Alpha duck today on the way to work -- I'm talking cars swerving, people slamming on their brakes, traffic backed up -- and this fat, ugly duck just walking at exactly his own pace and no one else's, just not giving a FUCK as he crosses the street.

The other bird on the other side flew off at oncoming traffic and at cars nearly colliding and running each other off the road.

But Alpha Duck? The world stops for him. Alpha Duck marches on.