i remember countless time where i ask God to just give me that, the only thing i wanted was her, or if i could not have her then, give me something close to her...
nothing, other man had her and her clones, i remember a dream i had confirming that believes that, god really did not care, she was been passed by every guy out there, and God was simply laughing at me.
i remember waking up punching the bed and cying...
part 2.
@RodrickSage What I found in my 25 years. There is no soulmates. My mind went crazy for 2 women. One was around middle S or high S.
Another was in my first long time work. I could hardly think normally. One time I almost asked her out. But the day I decided to do it. She was not there. So that day I beat my dick so hard that I would not think about any woman and that day I lost my all attraction to that woman.
@RodrickSage I am some one who never dated. Mostly because of me. Because I was brainwashed to by nice guy. Luckily I was in my early teens so I not wasted any money. When I had first crush I was in limbo between asking her out and not being creep. So I never had balls to ask her.
Around this age I found out Tom Leykis and MGTOW. That helped me to understand it all.
Here I am now next month 26. With quarter-life crisis. No job and only idea what I want. But not how I can get there.