I have been contemplating a conversation I once again had with my mentor in an organization. He says that when I am in a role of authority, I should tell people to do things instead of asking them.
Thinking on this lead me to consider that I generally prefer asking politely because to me it has always showed respect between individuals. This also lead to the question of if I see those in subordinate roles as worthy of respect. The problem is: kindness is equated to deference and submission.
This leads me to conclusions:
1) Be direct with females generally and with males under my authority to achieve an objective.
2) Only in the rare circumstances when someone merits respect would I be able to ask "Would you mind doing...?" because it shows said respect I have for them.
3) Even if I wish that I could have "the milk of human kindness by the quart in every vein", I can't, because most people have a strict placement in their dominance hierarchy. To work with them, I must play the game.
At least that is the impression I have gained on further reflection. I ponder that kindness can be shown between those of strength and authority where respect is understood such as between two male business partners who know one anothers' strengths and rely upon one another, but in today's society, this is rare. There are so few "men" (those males worthy of respect by their virtues).