I have been contemplating a conversation I once again had with my mentor in an organization. He says that when I am in a role of authority, I should tell people to do things instead of asking them.
Thinking on this lead me to consider that I generally prefer asking politely because to me it has always showed respect between individuals. This also lead to the question of if I see those in subordinate roles as worthy of respect. The problem is: kindness is equated to deference and submission.
This leads me to conclusions:
1) Be direct with females generally and with males under my authority to achieve an objective.
2) Only in the rare circumstances when someone merits respect would I be able to ask "Would you mind doing...?" because it shows said respect I have for them.
3) Even if I wish that I could have "the milk of human kindness by the quart in every vein", I can't, because most people have a strict placement in their dominance hierarchy. To work with them, I must play the game.
