I know this not the best place for it. But my last decent relationship has come to a close. It was a bad terms mutual sort of thing. I was not perfect, neither was she. It still hurts man. I feel a bit lost. Any advice, or chatting would be appreciated. Normally I am resilient, but the people I do care about still hurt to lose.
@basedbagel Yeah, it's just extremely painful still.
I know your pain @FinalDresdonation
Best advice I can give you is to try to distract yourself with things/people you enjoy.
@basedbagel I'm trying man. It's never easy. All I can say is I came out feeling neglected and sad. It is just up after the bottom. It will just be getting used to the loneliness.
I know its hard but You dont have to be lonely.
Try to find some friends, family to cheer you up.
It'll help you recover faster
@basedbagel Yeah, I'm still on day one. The biggest thing is going to be missing saying good morning and goodnight to someone I genuinely did love for the last 5 years. The little routines man. That's just the big part of the void for me. The person and our little things.
I am contacting people though as best I can. Cut work off a bit. I need to sort myself out.
5 years huh? @FinalDresdonation
Yeah that's gonna take a while to heal.
I've never been in a relationship that long so I could only imagine how you feel.
Try not to focus on it right now and just keep putting 1 foot in front of the other.
This too shall pass.
@basedbagel It's been a struggle since post lockdowns I've lifted my entire life away to try and accomplish a lot. I could only shoulder so much. When it's all fallen now I'm alone and while I am my own bedrock I just have little social outlets. I'm quiet, but very social to those I care about. When that drops out I have a very hard time replacing it.
@FinalDresdonation @basedbagel
It will pass. There will be sadness and suffering but it will be ok.
I went through a divorce some time ago. Haven't had a relationship since. It was a very painful process but I've grown a huge amount since then, and continue to do so. In a sense, I lost the relationship and the person I loved, but I gained myself.
Agree with bagel too that it's good to try to stay somewhat active and focus on other relationships, as well as reflecting and having your "me time"
@FinalDresdonation @basedbagel
People who quit something, like smoking, usually have a period where it will be very difficult until they are readjusted to the new normal.
It's like leaving the orbit of a habit/person/relationship. It takes a lot of effort to get outside of it but it will become normal.
@southpole21 @basedbagel Yeah, that makes sense. Nothing worth doing is easy outright. I'll work on myself more. I am just a very dedicated partner. I neglected myself a bit, but I wouldn't say awfully. Not enough to lead where it went. Just the last year has fucked my ass.
@FinalDresdonation @basedbagel
I was listening to a philosophy quotes channel on youtube. Some of it is very good to think over. Good themes/values to figure over in your mind.
@southpole21 @basedbagel What is it? Also do you guys have any tips for a guy whose brain can't shut off? My mind always runs at 100 miles an hour and when it stops it's a bit random. Nothing outright distracts me from this and I have had to take time off work to handle myself.
@FinalDresdonation @basedbagel
If you’re asking about the YouTube channel it’s called Quotes. Just a guy or AI reading philosophy quotes. It’s very simple but can be good food for thought, focus your mind on simple statements that reflect some truth about life.
@southpole21 Thank you, I will have to check it out. I appreciate it.
@FinalDresdonation
Sorry to hear that man.
I'll save you the hackneyed motivational speech and just say this.
It usually takes 1/2 the time you were I a relationship to get over it so while I know it hurts now, remember time carries most of the weight.
There's nothing wrong with caring about someone as long as you're still productive, it just means your note a psychopath