Yeah. Another rent/vent through an unknown representative
Majority on this sub seem to live a decent or sometimes 6 figures lives, in spite of the lingering trauma. Hopeful to hear
"Asian Parents Have Made Me Afraid of Them into Adulthood
Asian parents love to rule by fear and psychologically and physical abuse. As a child, I was always afraid of them. When I’d see their car in the driveway coming home from school, my stomach would churn in anxiety for no particular reason and on the converse, when I had time away from them either through college or hanging out, the time would fly by and I would be so relieved. Until I hear a text or call - my heart would race thinking about getting berated or put down or called lazy for being out when I should be doing something productive. I would hate to leave my room when I was supposed to be sleeping (I’m a night owl) in case I woke them up. When they asked me to something I wasn’t sure, I would feel fear shoot through my body even though I knew it wasn’t like I was going to get smacked. I would be even too afraid of telling them when I was sick or not feeling well because I was afraid of getting yelled at or punished because somehow it’s always my fault. I thought I’d get over it coming into adulthood but even as I’ve gone through college, my fear of them still permeates.
During the school year, I lived away from them for the most part my first three years of college (had to visit for dinner once a week since I lived locally), which felt like the first breath of fresh air I’d taken my entire life. No stress or anxiety. I got to wake up in the morning, eat what I want without nagging or criticisms, sleep when I want, hang out with who I want as late as I wanted, I felt so free. They were nicer to me when I was gone for long stretches of time but I’ve been living with them for three months now because of quarantine and don’t have campus housing for my final year of college. My degree isn’t exactly marketable with grad school but I hate living at home know. I’m afraid to ask for things and talk about my life or say anything that could remotely upset them. Everything is met with criticism. Anything could set my parents off which digresses into just piling on insults and screaming for an hour. I have no problem standing up to people in my life who are disrespecting me but with my parents, I legitimately feel traumatized. I freeze up and can’t say anything even though I know what they’re saying is wrong.
I want to move out as soon as I finish undergrad (was looking at law school but might have to put that on the back burner). That’s over a year away from now which includes time for me to get money together.
Is there any advice anyone can give me to get through the coming months? Especially coming from living on my own for a while, the house feels almost like a prison and I can’t mouth off to the warden. Has someone gone through something similar?"
https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/s/KdDnYVyoFb